So i suck and should never have signed on to a blog. I disappoint my loyal fan each day I never update.
2007 has sucked this year.
It began sucking when my daughter fell at the table, slamming her tiny 5 year old chin down onto the tabletop, splitting it open. I can tolerate many things....seeing my kids bleed is not one of them, sad to say. Nevertheless, I stopped the bleeding and took her to the ER and sat with her while they put in 3 pretty blue stitches.
2 weeks later my wife slices her hand opening a can of potatoes. She should have gone to the ER for stitches, but was too stubborn. Well I wasn't having that...the next morning I showed her!
I decided that it was time for another round of kidney stones (my 3rd go around in my young 28 years). All 3 times I have had them, having them get stuck while moving through me has hurt waaaaaaaay more than actually pissing them out. This one was the mother-effing-armageddon-like-meteor of kidney stones! I was in so much pain when it began passing from my kidney to the bladder that I was bawling and puking at the same time, writhing around on the floor while my kids watched, terrified.
I should have called the ambulance and sent them to their rooms.
Instead, we drive them to my in-law's, drop them off, and my wife and I go on to the ER (all of these things happened on the weekend) and I wait, in knife-twisting-in-my-belly agony for 2 freaking hours before they got me into a room and drugged me up. After that I was fine...passed it about a week later.
My wife had her hand looked at, but still opted out of getting stitches. But hahahaha she got her tetanus shot the next day.
Not to be outdone, though, my wife plots her one-uppance. She targets her retaliation when I'm at my weakest. The family is nailed by a nasty bout of fluish cold. I'm aching from head to toe, sore throat, cough...terrible stuff. Juicing up with the vitamin C and multisimptom cold medicine....all of us are....well come to find out that my wife is hypersensitive to these medicines. Normally she only takes half dosages anyway, because any more and she feels......off. But we were in bad shape....so she takes normal dosages, and her body reacts as if she's overdosed.....so at 5 a.m. we're trucking to the ER once again! They flush her out and send her home 7 hours later.
Well by now my other kids are feeling left out. So at my oldest's first soccer practice, a couple of weeks later, my son decides to get run over by a hefty 8 year-old, fracturing his collarbone in the process. GOAL!
My middle kid better not even think of getting sick this year.
And so I leave you with this, your moment of Zen.
